Being a teacher mom of two, who also happens to be an introvert, is hard work. You are always needed by someone. There is always a to-do list for work/home/life. You are rarely ever alone (although sometimes it can feel quiet lonely). And because of the constant overstimulation, even when you do get a moment to yourself, it can often be hard to get actually something done because your brain doesn't know how to focus. It feels like a million things get started, but very little actually gets done, and when you are physically, mentally & socially exhausted at the end of the day, it's easy to feel like a failure.
I do want to give myself credit. What have I done this year? I birthed a healthy new human, while taking care of another, very active, little human. Both of these humans are amazing people and even though they exhaust me, they are by far, the best things I have ever done in my life and I am humbled that I get to watch them grow and get to be their mom. The older of the little humans is such a cool person - she loves pre-k, she has earned a blue belt in taekwondo, plays soccer, does pre-ballet, and has the biggest heart and silliest personality. The younger little human is the smiliest person I know and makes my heart explode. And when those two little humans interact, my world is complete.
I have also read 81 books. I have completed 222 BODi workouts. I have walked 1,766 miles (at least) this year. I completed my 16th year teaching math in NYC Public Schools & my 6th year as a Math for America Master Teacher.
Two quotes that have really stuck out to me lately are:
- "If nothing changes, nothing changes. If you keep doing what you are doing you're going to keep getting what you are getting." - Courtney C. Stevens
- "You can't edit a blank page." - Jodi Picoult
This time last year, I knew that 2023 was going to shake things up in my life and that there was going to be a lot of things out of my control. I feel a slightly more sense of calm going into 2024 (as calm as moving from the infant to the toddler stage can be at least).
I have been wanting to journal/blog more. I also finally bought a 2024 Commit30 Planner and One Line a Day 5 Year Journal. I am also looking forward to reading Four Thousand Weeks as the Bad on Paper Podcast January pick.
I know it will be hard, but I want to make more time for me in 2024. I want to surround myself with good people and things that make my heart full. I want to be present & laugh while I play with my children. I want to be joyful while doing math with my students. I want to make happy memories with my family & friends. I want to feel productive without feeling overwhelmed. I want to laugh. I want to be organized. I want to be intentional about acknowledging gratitude. I want to read good books and listen to good music. I want to not be afraid to start because "You can't edit a blank page." I want to not feel guilty for taking care of my own needs. I want to breathe. I want to be the best possible mother/teacher/me. I want to grow. I want to be proud of who I am & the choices I make. I am work in progress.
Happy (almost) birthday to me & cheers to a joyful 2024!
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